The Hieronymus Bosch Award
Zack: This is an illustration from the page facing the entry for these guys. They're called Crabmen and there really isn't anything to them. They're just another stupid bipedal thug for you to hit with a sword.
Steve: Yeah, not really worth including. On the other hand, this illustration is maybe the best thing I have seen in three weeks.
Zack: This is the sort of scene I imagine at the farm where they harvest the meat for chicken nuggets. A cave that looks like something out of Kurosawa's Dreams hosting a bunch of wizards and farmers with swords battling it out with the nuggions.
Steve: Nuggets are chicken dude. It's in the name.
Zack: My theory is just as likely to be true. Have you ever seen a nugget actually coming out of a chicken?
Zack: That's right, and I have never seen one coming out of a Crabman. Equal evidence.
Steve: I don't feel so good.
Zack: Damn, look at that, Crabman is hard on the ladies. I wonder if he's taking that one off to another part of their nightmare cave to make some lady nuggets.
Steve: Ahhh! Shut up!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.