Zack: We don't care, fuck it, we know our book sucks dicks. We're not even drawing bodies for shit anymore. Whatever. Fuck you. Fuck TSR. Fuck this stupid world.
Steve: His head is an evil skull so he attacks by burying himself up to his evil skull and then you think it's just an evil skull laying on the ground in a dungeon and you're like, "Huh, free evil skull just laying here, let me just grab that and-"
Zack: BOOM!
Steve: "Waaa! Where'd this cartoon body come from? Guys, it wasn't just an evil skull like you said. It's a whole monster."
Zack: It says it moves around by jumping like a spring. I can only assume it makes a really screechy BLAAAAAAA! noise while it's doing it to complete my image of an annoying amusement park ride come to life.
Steve: "Dang, I really wanted that evil skull."
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 2)
- Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
- Rifts: Core Book
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S1 "Tomb of Horrors"
- Dungeons & Dragons: Deities & Demigods (Cthulhu Edition)
