Steve: "It's not what it looks like!"
Zack: "Then what is it, Skurbk? You promised me you were done with women and I come home from lasering at the space castle to find you hugging another dame."
Steve: "Jeff, baby, believe me. I was helping her out! She was choking!"
Zack: Yeah, I bet she was choking. On your cloaca.
Zack: *laser sounds*
Steve: Every scene should end with laser sounds.
Zack: The last Holocaust survivor is wheeled past Oskar Schindler's grave. Fade to, "He who saves a life saves the world entire."
Steve: *laser sounds*
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.