Zack: This is what happens when you leave food out for stray cats.
Steve: I don't think those are cats. Unless things were way different in olden times.
Zack: I don't know about that, but the olden times certainly had a thing with women being almost naked and attacked by animals.
Steve: Maybe it used to be a common problem.
Steve: Like how we eliminated a bunch of diseases and also we got rid of swarms of varmints attacking sexy babes.
Zack: And just like with whooping cough, Jenny McCarthy is bringing them back.
Steve: I think a lot of people would pay to see Jenny McCarthy attacked by a swarm of squirrels.
Zack: I'd settle for her getting attacked by a garbage truck.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Guess what's back? Frosty tundras! And me.
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.