Zack: Alright, they finish loading all the merch up. They stay aboard your ship, but their ship detaches and leaves. Soon, Ruth activates the hyperspace engine and the ship smoothly accelerates into hyperspace. The journey to Cloud City will only take a few hours.
Steve: I'm going to play holo chess with Beth.
Zack: She easily defeats you every game you play.
Steve: I will resist the urge to chop her into pieces with my light saber.
Zack: Alright, spiral wipe from you playing chess to your ship suddenly decelerating next to a colorful gas giant. Ruth guides the ship into the sun-painted skies of Bespin. Air speeders rise to meet you and escort you to one of the many landing platforms. As you lower the ramp, you are surprised to be greeted by a contingent of Cloud City troopers and a sinister-looking robot.
Steve: I pop open my light saber and strike a combat pose.
Zack: The Cloud City troopers raise their guns, but they back away at the sight of a Jedi. They are clearly intimidated. The skinny robot, however, only swivels his head slightly to point a glowing red eye at you.
Steve: "Okay, stoplight, you'd better turn green in a hurry, or I'm gonna make you turn red...forever."
I have used my bot to create Olive Garden commercials. This is a bot I have. Don't question it.
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.