Zack: Swirling toilet drain wipe to you coming waltzing out of the bathroom and are greeted by some of Beth's slave women. "Hey, what's going on? I thought Yadda was in there."
Steve: "Nope. He had to..."
Steve: "...get flushed."
Zack: Did you just try to pull a David Caruso?
Steve: Yeah, but I don't have any sunglasses written on my character sheet.
Zack: Steve, it made no sense.
Steve: It makes perfect sense he got flushed down a toilet.
Zack: Yeah but the alternate meaning of that is that he was red-faced.
Steve: Eh, they'll figure it out.
Zack: They don't understand it at all, but they're just slave women so they nod and laugh along with you not wanting to cause any trouble.
Steve: I'm going to tell Beth she should probably take us back to the ship now.
Zack: She is pretty disappointed that Yadda had to "get flushed" but she agrees to go back to the ship because of all the chaos breaking out in the white hallways of Cloud City.
Steve: Dang, I didn't even get to meet Lando.
Zack: You return to the ship as word spreads that Yadda has disappeared. No one knows what happened, but a dead Ewok vent guard suggests it was kidnappers. While the galaxy awaits a ransom, your compatriots sell out of the Hutt's bogus merch. Jyff and Spurj are pretty happy with their haul. They even sold out of all the Yadda branded baby bibs and party clackers.
Steve: What's a party clacker?
Zack: Nobody knows, but they had a huge inventory of them and people were desperate for anything Yadda. Master Ruth is also happy with your training. "You walk a fine line between light and dark. But a great power is within you, waiting to be awakened."
Steve: "What is your bidding now, my master?"
Zack: "We go to Endor to conquer your fears."
Zack: She begins to chortle menacingly.
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
We review every game from the last 2 months, plus all 21 SNES Classic titles
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.