Dr. Thorpe: Is she pointing at one of those silicon sample breast implants? "See this? This is what they put inside me when I became a woman."
Zack: I think it might be one of those paperweights with like a leaf sealed in Lucite.
Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, I think you're right, and she's pointing at it because it's the most interesting thing in her life.
Zack: At least she's well-equipped with that sword in case she has to fight off any decorative goblins.
Dr. Thorpe: I'm sure she could just head butt them to death with that formidable brow of hers. She's got the t-zone of a Golden Gloves champ.
Zack: I always wondered why goats were so closely associated with the demonic. If they're so evil why do we stock our petting zoos with them?
Dr. Thorpe: We also stock our petting zoos with turkeys, and any grown man who's ever been chased by a turkey will testify that those things are fucking scary. And I feel no shame in admitting that I am one such man.
Zack: Maybe, but I usually don't associate magical cosmic evil with putting a quarter in one of those machines that dispenses pellets into a paper cup.
Dr. Thorpe: Well, I also don't associate the gothic lifestyle with Spencer Gifts, but clearly some people do.
Zack: Coincidentally the gothic lifestyle, penis candles, and those glowing fiber optic hedgehogs are all closely related.
Zack: I think the satanic animal should be Canada geese. Those things will chase you for blocks hissing at you like snakes and they are never friendly.
Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, and Satan will wake you up at 6AM with his honking.
Zack: I noticed that crystal ball of hers does not contain an image of her getting a GED.
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Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
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