> LEVEL 2 ANTAGONIST UNLOCKED: ROBOOBOT DEPLOYED:
> SELECT DEFENSIVE ACTION.
>> Attempt robo-titty twister (pipe wrench required)
>> Try to talk to her without staring slackjawed at either her metal jugs or ridiculous tall hairdo
>> Hide inside hologram of a fat guy
> THE PERFECT DISGUISE. ROBOOBOT EVADED SUCCESSFULLY. YOUR GUERILLA CUSTODIAL TACTICS HAVE PAID OFF SO FAR, BUT YOUR ANTICS HAVE BEEN SPOTTED BY TEXAS “JOYSTICK” JONES:
> OH NO! CHOOSE:
>> Quickly apply stealth blackface (-99999 points for racism)
>> Do a somersault over the desk and kick Tex in the head through the camera (not available due to: Michael Dudikoff)
>> Look around like a dumbass and non-sequitur your way into the next room.
> !!!BANISHED TO THE TRIANGLE ZONE. PREPARE TO BE TRIANGLED, MOTHERFUCKER!!!
> NO, THAT WASN’T JOHNNY DEPP YOU SAW. UNLIKE MICHAEL DUDIKOFF HE HAS A LITTLE DIGNITY. ROLL A D20 FOR TRIANGLE-CHECK.
>> Roll die.
> NERD. THIS IS NOT D&D. YOU TAKE 10 DAMAGE FROM HOLO-TITTY TWISTER!
"I thought the internet was all fun and games. Grow virtual plants on Facebook. Send email to grandma. IM friends with emojis," said the Stupid Ass Teenager, currently dying in an Idiot County hospital. "Never in my wildest dreams could I ever possibly humanly imagine that doing stupid ass internet shit in real life might get me mortally injured."
(Lips smacking, mouth full of peanut butter, glistening streams of peanut butter oil running down chin) "I'm full as hell, and I'm not going to take another bite!"
Bonk: The Only Good Bonk Is A Head Bonk
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