> YOU ESCAPE FROM THE TRIANGLE ZONE. THERE’S STILL A SOLID HOUR OF MOVIE LEFT TO GO, SOMEHOW. DEPLOY POINTLESS TIME-WASTING SIDE CHARACTERS:
> VINNY THE SCHNOZ APPEARS. PASS A GUIDO CHECK FOR SUCCESSFUL DODGE.
>> Frank Sinatra was actually gay.
>> I don’t even care what my mother thinks about the women I date.
>> Hey Tony, pass the Capicola!
> SUCCESS! PEDO MUSTACHE AND STRONG OPINIONS ABOUT CULTURAL APPROPRIATION OF CAPPUCCINO AVOIDED. +100 POINTS.
> DOORBOT 9000 ACTIVATED. PREPARE TO FACE WRATH.
> CRISPY BACON: POLICE CASUALTY. FRY PIGGY FRY!
> ROBOT LIVES MATTER. MOVING RIGHT ALONG...
> CAUTION! PEEKBOT TRIGGERED!
> NO, OF COURSE THAT’S NOT A DECAPITATED CYLON ON A STICK, THAT WOULD BE ILLEGAL AND WEIRD.
>> Sue for copyright infringement.
> FAILED! COUNTERSUIT INITIATED! YOU LOSE 80,000 SPACE CREDITS!
Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Extremely proud over here! The bosses took notice and I have been promoted to 20 cages!!
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.