Hydrogen: I don't even know where the hell to start with that. So the bloodthirsty, enraged mutant radioactive killing machine was satisfied by just having a tiny briefcase to float around on? Is that all it ever wanted this whole movie, a tiny, shitty boat?
Trillaphon: Who would have predicted that the movie about an unfathomable, stealthy monster killing people one by one on a ship would end up on the lifeboat at the very end? That's a completely novel and unexpected twist, and nothing like the several famous movies that have ended exactly that same way.
Hydrogen: I was wondering if the origin of this movie was actually somebody watching Alien and then thinking to themselves "what if the cat and the monster were the same thing." Which is already a retarded thought, but then to actually make a movie out of it...Jesus.
"They mostly come out at night...mostly."
Trillaphon: The best part is the double-secret twist ending in which the cat survives to wreak havoc in the sequel. Except that's really blatantly a different cat. It's not even the same goddamn color.
Hydrogen: Maybe it's wearing feline blackface, and the real twist is that cats can be racists too.
Trillaphon: You just blew my goddamned mind.
|Music / Sound||-10|
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Following America's defeat in World War 3, allied forces uncovered a number of experimental weapon prototypes in the hotel-compound of Trump's loyalist Space Force army. Had the war continued just a few more months, these secret weapons would have changed the course of the war.
Are there arrows in Tomb Raider? "No. Absolutely not."
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.