The dilemma - which Daddy Finger does not seem to grasp - is that it takes five fingers working together to form a fist. His deranged leadership has caused the other fingers to work diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.
The root of the problem is Daddy Finger's amorality. Anyone who works with him knows he lacks a lodestar to guide his actions.
Although he is from the Right Hand, Daddy Finger shows little affinity for ideals long espoused by the fingers of the Right Hand: punching, holding Desert Eagle pistols, and flipping coins. At best, he has invoked these ideals in scripted settings. At worst, he has attacked them outright.
Does Daddy Finger respect Mommy Finger? Does he acknowledge the hard work of Brother Finger or Sister Finger? No, as far as he is concerned, Daddy Finger is the whole hand.
There is a quiet resistance within the hand of people choosing to put country first. But the real difference will be made by everyday fingers rising above politics, reaching across the the lap and two-handed jacking.
There are more of us than you think.
Iowa Congressman Steve King reflects on how our PC culture is limiting arm speech.
A valuable possession pleads for its life.
Unlike the Phantom, Ouya, or Glaze3D, this console will be an actual product. Or will it?
Mr Tip Says: Throw yourself in the well
This coupon entitles the holder to one free visit to this article
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.