[Navigating the Labyrinth of Fog and Shadows]
"For a minute there
I lost my elf.
I lost my elf."
[Upon returning a beloved fowl to Crod, the emotional giant quest-giver who begins crying enormous tears of joy upon the party]
"Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
Crod loves his chicken"
[Sent in to scout a dragon's keep while the party waits outside]
"But I'm a thief.
My HP's low.
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here."
[Locating a mechanism to open a secret passage as a horde of knolls bears down on the party]
"I hit the button.
Hit the button and escape.
[Addressing the Bard at the campsite after a particularly trying day of adventures]
Us a song
A song to heal
[Rolling a 20 on a perception check]
"I jumped in the river, what did I see?
Bag of Holding waiting for me."
[Pickpocketing dozens of random students in a magical college as a favor for the party's mage, who wants a Time Stop scroll]
"And it wears me out.
It wears me out.
It wears me out.
But if I could see the scroll you wanted
to stop time..."
[Attempting to steal a legendary gem from its display case in a curiously empty chamber with no obvious form of security]
"No alarms and no surprises please."
[The party's Wild Mage casts a spell that backfires spectacularly]
"You do it to yourself, you do.
And that's what really hurts
is you do it to yourself, just you.
You and no-one else."
[Detailing an overly ambitious plan to overcome pursuers and slip into the shadows]
"Rows of drows, all bearing down on me
I can feel their blue hands touching me
All my traps into position
All my traps in one round swallow them whole
And fade out again and fade out"
[The party's Barbarian attempts to cut an enemy in half and slice the ropes binding Thom's elven Thief with a single swing of her two-handed sword]
"Don't cleave me, Ghry
Just leave me tied
Don't cleave me, Ghry
Just leave me tied"
[Noticing that the party's introverted Wild Mage has cast Magic Hand and is now holding hands with the conjured hand]
"Just 'cause you feel it
Doesn't mean it's there"
[After three days without rations, eyeing an approaching Gelatinous Cube]
"So knives out
Cut it up
It's got no head
Put it in the pot"
[Turns a corner in the Labyrinth of Shadows and Fog, only to find the spot where the party began one week earlier]
"How come I end up where I started?
How can I end up where I belong?"
If HBO ever wants us to watch their channel again they will listen to our demands!
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Sonic is too dang toothy, VR is too dang pricey, and Euro board games are just right
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