This article is part of the Groggery Gibbonman series.
Of the many ghoulish ghost stories penned by Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman, certainly none were better received than "The Figure in the Fireplace," a chilling verse first published in serialized form on the back of numerous medicine-show products released under the "Sergio Cal's Mystic Pastes of the Far East" line. The hocus-pocus medicines ultimately proved unpopular due to radiation poisoning, but the hallowed rime remains!
If you're feeling overwhelmed by dire climate change news, try taking action personally! You can make a difference in the world!
Urine? Or perhaps an abundance of crotch sweat? Either way, it's a good thing you're in a karate class. This is the ideal place to covertly get some airflow down there, speeding up the evaporation process by as much as 4%.
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
During the tumultuous Jacquelinian era, no fabulist or faerie-tailor was more esteemed than Groggery Tirade "Grog" Gibbonman.