The Game: Prison Tag

Advanced GameplayWithout doubt this is the most popular game in prison. Remember when you used to play tag all afternoon with friends outside of the school? Well, it's a lot like that except you're not allowed to run or have shoelaces. There are a few other differences, but it's basically the same.


Hurt as many people as possible.


1. Do not look anyone in the eyes

2. Do not look at anyone

3. If you are caught looking at someone you are tagged "IT"

4. You cannot tag someone on your own team

Special Tip: Staring at a wall is the most effective way to avoid an attack (unless the wall is a one way mirror and your enemy is on the other side.)

Uh oh, looks like someone is IT

Expert Tag Technique

Making a Shiv

Using a shiv is like extending your reach by three inches. It also allows you to rip holes into the side of enemies. If you follow this easy guide, you'll rule the courtyard (for the hour you are allowed out of your maximum security cell each day.)

Step 1: Acquire a human arm (Image 8)

Step 2: Carve excess flesh and bone to a point

Step 3 (Optional): Boil toilet bowl stew or flush arm carvings down drain

Step 4: Enjoy (Image 9)

I hope you learned a lot in this chapter of The Dangerous Book for Convicts. Good luck in your first few weeks of Prison Tag, and remember to watch your back!

– Ian "Salmon Season" Golding (@iggolding)

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