Greetings all. As previously mentioned in my blog, I am still dealing with those bothersome "rebels" who dare challenge my rule. Last night I devised a brilliant solution: I shall order all soldiers on the battlefield to retreat. The rebels shall ignorantly claim victory, but their cheers shall shall soon be silenced by the planet-annihilating laser from my massive floating weapons fortress.
My first target shall be Alderaan, which will cripple and demoralize their forces throughout the universe. This "Death Star" I plan to build shall span 260 miles in length, and shelter nearly 266,000 of my deadliest warriors. However, I am unsure how to get wireless working efficiently in it. Does anybody know what kind of download speeds Comcast offers?