A new patch has been released for both the PC and Xbox 360 releases of this futuristic team-based shooter. The main intent of this update is to level the playing field between the two platforms as much as possible by compensating for people using mice and keyboards against opponents using controllers, but a few minor bug fixes have been included as well.
Call Of Juarez
Because when you think of kickass western shooters that actually incorporate the bible as a weapon, you immediately think of lengthy forced stealth missions. 6/10
A team-based shooter that gives you lots of really cool and diverse powers to consider while you wait for 10 minutes to join a match full of identical players. 8/10
Offers the complete ninja experience, if the complete ninja experience involves running through fifty identical villages, facing enemies that are braindead one minute and psychic the next, and feeling generally disappointed and sad. 3/10
Surprisingly fun, and a great way to see talking animals race against one another without the risks involved in going off your meds and taking a trip to the dog track. 6/10
Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree
The thinking man's Brain Boost and the common man's Brain Age. 7/10
Tomb Raider: Anniversary
An updated edition of the original Tomb Raider that improves upon every aspect of the game except for Lara's fat waist and tiny breasts. 8/10
L.A. Street Racing
Five years too late, $20 too much. 3/10
Marine Sharpshooter III
An ACTUAL training tool used by REAL marines as a target on the shooting range. 1/10
Answers the ages-old question of what The Sims would be like if it restricted you to one character that could only age from 20 to 30 and if there was no representation of your sim's home and daily life. 6/10
Spaceforce: Rogue Universe
Not all that great, but I'll give it an extra point since I think it's an adaptation of a Stephen Colbert sci-fi epic novel. 6/10
The Secrets Of Atlantis
Atlantis secret #1: games about Atlantis are never fun. 1/10
Monster Madness: Battle For Suburbia
With all the shitty PC games released this month, I'm pretty sure we've stumbled upon the Bizarro version of the PC game resurgence we've all been waiting for. 5/10
Sure, the main gimmick is that the game shifts from 2d to 3d, but it's not at all like Super Paper Mario because there's puzzles and, uh, no mustaches. 8/10
Dragon Ball Z: Harukanaru Densetsu
It's a strategic card battle game without the strategy, but the average DBZ fan won't notice. 3/10
Naruto: Ninja Council 3
I went in expecting to vote on shuriken reforms and have heated debates over padded shoes with my fellow councilmen, but all I got was a shitty fighting game with a shittier engine. 2/10
I almost said this game was as painful as getting kicked in the nuts, but that's not really fair to the game since it's more like getting shelled in the nuts by a tank round. 2/10
BLACK LIVES MATTER!!! NOOOOOOO!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER, AN ABSOLUTE MONSTER!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
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