If you are going to enjoy World of Warcraft, you need to know how to kill time. Some pester others in Guildchat. Some destroy the economy with the Auction House. Some even help out other players in the game for altrustic reasons. My timesink, however, is Craigslist. Not because I'm looking for a new writing job (hint) or a good deal on a sex doll that looks like a Night Elf (nudge nudge), but because I love reading about the "Missed Encounters" of the different walks of life.

Especially if they had no life to begin with, as evidenced here.


You Were Holy Spec, I want Retribution - w4m - lvl 60


Reply to: elf on zuluhed
Date: 2006-05-30, 2:28AM PDT


It was Scarlet Stratholme, Tier 0.5 questing, I was tanking that ugly spider thing, and that mage pulled the second pack. The moment you had Lay On Hands'd me, I feel complete again, fulfilled, as if I had truly been saved. Sadly, our chance encounter wasn't more than 45 minutes. Although my heart was all afire (even with your Protection Aura), you were still on cooldown by the time we had looted and parted ways.

Send me a mail stud. I've got an idea for BRD Arena encounter - I hear it can be two-manned with the right support class.

  • no-- it's NOT ok to contact this player with power leveling services or other gold farmer interests

~i could have killed 10 duskwood lurkers with you forever~ w4m - lvl 27


gnome on ner'zhul
Date: 2006-05-30, 2:28AM PDT


There I was, under leveled and unrested, when I saw you there, methodically killing all of the ghouls in the graveyard like a machine. You would stop for nothing, not to loot, no to stealth, not even to fight the other players that would attack you unopposed - your automated destruction was nothing short of perfect. Aside from the times the Horde killed you anyways, while you just stood there.

Even after I buffed you with Arcane Intellect, you played it cool, never saying a word. Yet you had no problem at all with killing even the mobs I had started to attack. Still, any time I worked up the courage to whisper you, 20 seconds later you'd log out for five minutes or so.

You aren't so cool that you are a cold and unfeeling robot, right? You are online all the time, so send me a tell, and lets talk about our feelings. We are just two human beings after all, finding adventure (and love) in Azeroth.

  • no-- it's NOT ok to contact this player with power leveling services or other gold farmer interests

Durotar, Super Sticky Tar & A Hottie Like Garr - m4w - lvl 8


Reply to: orc on kel'thuzad
Date: 2006-05-30, 2:28AM PDT


You: Blue Female Troll Shaman, lvl 1, dancing naked in the newbie start of Durotar.

Me: The gruff, tough and handsome looking Orc Warrior with the nosering, earrings and Tattered Leather Chest of the Whale.

Thought maybe I saw a /flirt, maybe even a /blush or a /i'msowetandhornyforyou when I accidentally casted my Scroll of Spirit on you. Liked what I saw, but can't remember your name (something with Bank in it?). You were summoned off to Ogrimmar before I could open my trade window and give you digits.

Holla if ya wanna cyber, I guess.

  • no-- it's NOT ok to contact this player with power leveling services or other gold farmer interests

TRADE U PORNO 4 EVIDENCE - m4STUPIDDUMBWHORE!!! - lvl 60


Reply to: troll on frostmourne
Date: 2006-05-30, 2:28AM PDT


OMG U FUKKEN CUNT I CAN'T BELIEVE DAT - WE SPEND THREE MONTHS CLEARING MC AND U GO AND STEAL MAJORDOMO'S PHAT DROPS WTF U DUMB WHORE I'LL FUKKEN KILL U I NEEDED THE BINDINGS WTFWTFWTF!?!?!?

BUT SOUNDED KINDA HOT ON VENTRILLO AS U DENCHED DA TIER 2... MAYBE I CAN GET U BACK INTO THE GUILD U CALLED FAGGOTS AS THEY KICKED U
TRADE U THE PICS OF U BEIN A DUMB THIEVIN CUNT FOR PICS OF UR CUNT I AM SERIOUS IF YOU WANT TO EVER RAID AGAIN WE GET 2 C UR TITS!!!!

  • no-- it's NOT ok to contact this player with power leveling services or other gold farmer interests

This Is A Little Awkward For Me - m4? - lvl 44


Reply to: dwarf on malganis>
Date: 2006-05-30, 2:28AM PDT


Ok, so you look like a female tauren druid. But when you shapeshifted, my interface says you are a male bear.

Call me a pervert, but I have never been so turned on in my entire life. Terms of Service be dammed, I wanna do things to you that the language filter removes. Girlboy, I've got the brass balls and Orb of Deception if you've got the time. Next time we are in Warsong Gulch, lets get a room and cap flags, maybe even a little Furbolg roleplay?

  • no-- it's NOT ok to contact this player with power leveling services or other gold farmer interests





Ok, I think that's enough depravity for today. Got an idea? Screenshot? Improvised Explosive Device? Do as the others before you, and mail them to [email protected]! Next week, a humor article about a computer game called World of Warcraft! Who knows - it might be about you!

– Caylen "Abraham" Burroughs

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