The taglines claim that it isn't a game, but the title begs to differ.
Insert poker analogy here.
Oh no, it's a baby in a horror movie. Cue demons.
Variety in quality is the spice of life.
Cinema exploded this week. We're just picking up the pieces.
Spoilers: It's about boners.
Don't get me started on this one.
And now for a Die Hard knockoff your kids can see!
Keep digging, we're about to hit cinema gold!
Have you ever Star Trekked Into Darkness? Thought not.
This week, Current Releases takes a look back at basically everything.
They're evil... they're dead... and therefore no threat to you.
Spring Break, bitches!
Like we'd believe any magic trick from someone with such terrible hair plugs.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.
He's a slayer of giants, not a slayer who is giant.
Ah, what a lovely day to die hard.
Can Walter Hill rekindle the flame of his old successes?
It happened. They finally made the worst movie.
It's the bad week to end all bad weeks. Must be awards season.
2012 sure was a bleak year.
Stuck for that last minute gift? We can help!
A boy and his tiger go to sea, adventures abound.
Mentally ill people need love too.
The conclusion of the greatest love story of our generation... probably.
Martin R. "Vargo" Schneider discovers cocaine and is never heard from again.
Ralph wrecks it, RZA ruins it, Vargo kills it.
It's film-within-a-film week apparently.
If Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt had a baby, it would apparently look like a gaunt David Morrissey.
The whimsical adventures of a blue-faced paedophile within!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a bunch of movie reviews. Your guesses were way out.
He's still the law, he's just not as keen on reminding you anymore.