Stop Masturbation!, submitted by Abraham. If, in moments of weakness, you take to defiling yourself through acts of self-stimulation, then this book just might save your soul. Aimed at wiping out masturbation once and for all, this mighty tome promises to change the world.
Find out why masturbation is harmful for your health and many aspects of your life and what you can do to stop it. Read the only step-by-step program available in the world today and you will succeed in ending the habit of masturbation and start enjoying your life to the fullest..
Will it succeed? Will it stop you from touching yourself completely? I'm willing to bet everything I own that no, it won't. Furthermore, I'm willing to bet that at least 20% of you readers are masturbating right now, making it extremely awkward for me to type the rest of this sentence. Apparently touching yourself destroys your dreams, your marriage, and your life. It is a horrible shame that if I weren't so busy masturbating, I might buy and read this book.
Can't tell a drinking fountain from a urinal? We've got you covered. Brush up on your drinking fountain enthusiast -- or sipper -- vocabulary and learn to talk and swap sips with the best of them.
2 PM: Steven J. accidentally drops his vintage Trapper Keeper, revealing erotic drawings of the ‘bunny girls’ emoji. The room draws silent. Slowly, member after member opens his/her notebooks and tablets, revealing dozens of pages of bunny girl emoji fanart. The room votes 12-0 never to speak of this again.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.