John Green serves as the chairman of the Omaha Public Power District's board of directors. He's also, according to this site, a drunk alcoholic, which is surely the worst kind of alcoholic. As the text and a rambling voiceover remind visitors, such accusations are protected by the First Amendment, which also allows people to unleash hideously designed Web sites filled with side-scrolling multi-colored text and daft circa-'90s GIFs without fear of legal reprisal.
Mort Sullivan, the hard-hitting reporter behind the "truthful common sense newspaper" Heartland Times (which appears to consist entirely of Drunk Alcoholic and a few equally ugly sister sites) has uncovering shocking evidence in the form of a 2007 letter, written by someone who coincidentally shares the Sullivan surname, alleging that Green guzzles wine at a bar the tipster has never actually visited. There's also a scan of a 2004 DUI ticket Green received, and the haphazard vow that "Next time John Green may be arrested we are going to recall -- John K. Green -- laws." "Perennial candidate" Sullivan will run against Green in November: His campaign platform doesn't specifically address how the time demands of this elected office might affect his maintenance of his many grudge sites.
How dare you not read this article. How dare you not click on it. What is wrong with you?
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