Submitted by Anonymous
If I was king of the universe, I would make people age directly from 7 years old to 25 years old. Coincidentally, there would also be 100% less bullshit like this if I were king of the universe.
Also, I would have a pony.
A magical pony.
What was that "dope?"
3 drugs in 1!
Cannabis (or Marijuana to you Kool-Aid drinkers), is actually a plant that's been on Earth for thousands of years. Completelyÿ harmless.
Cocaine (Crack, opium) is pretty much shit. Don't do it often.
And fucking LSD! DO IT FAGGOT! "
"AHAISHGSjasdkKSDKKJADJDHAKJDGA DGJADGAHDLKASKL;JDKLJADHJLKASD HJLKASDHKLJASDHJKLASDHLJKASDHK JLASDHJLSADHJASLDHASLJKDHASLJD HJSADHLASKJDHJALSKDHL
URGE 2 KILLÿ RISING "
"....i now want toÿ commit suicied.... "
Editor's Note: Due to a freak power outage, this obituary of Barbara Bush was written without the benefit of research. In order to pay our respects to this great woman in a timely fashion, we have decided to post this piece as-is. We hope you forgive any errors on our part.
"God of War is the realization of our collective hopes and dreams, not just as gamers, but as gamer-citizens."
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
Sea of Thieves: Reduced the number of quest types from 3 to 2
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!