Submitted by Anonymous
If I was king of the universe, I would make people age directly from 7 years old to 25 years old. Coincidentally, there would also be 100% less bullshit like this if I were king of the universe.
Also, I would have a pony.
A magical pony.
What was that "dope?"
3 drugs in 1!
Cannabis (or Marijuana to you Kool-Aid drinkers), is actually a plant that's been on Earth for thousands of years. Completelyÿ harmless.
Cocaine (Crack, opium) is pretty much shit. Don't do it often.
And fucking LSD! DO IT FAGGOT! "
"AHAISHGSjasdkKSDKKJADJDHAKJDGA DGJADGAHDLKASKL;JDKLJADHJLKASD HJLKASDHKLJASDHJKLASDHLJKASDHK JLASDHJLSADHJASLDHASLJKDHASLJD HJSADHLASKJDHJALSKDHL
URGE 2 KILLÿ RISING "
"....i now want toÿ commit suicied.... "
The human anatomy is home to more than three hundred organs. Doctors and chocolatiers agree that the vast majority of these revolting lumps of tissue serve little to no function. If you find yourself standing in a long line or stuck at the airport waiting for a delayed flight, consider taking a few minutes to remove the following from your person.
Do you have what it takes to make it on the ballot?
Denzel is here to set the movie scales back to zero. That's what an equalizer does, right?
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!