Submitted by Anonymous
If I was king of the universe, I would make people age directly from 7 years old to 25 years old. Coincidentally, there would also be 100% less bullshit like this if I were king of the universe.
Also, I would have a pony.
A magical pony.
What was that "dope?"
3 drugs in 1!
Cannabis (or Marijuana to you Kool-Aid drinkers), is actually a plant that's been on Earth for thousands of years. Completelyÿ harmless.
Cocaine (Crack, opium) is pretty much shit. Don't do it often.
And fucking LSD! DO IT FAGGOT! "
"AHAISHGSjasdkKSDKKJADJDHAKJDGA DGJADGAHDLKASKL;JDKLJADHJLKASD HJLKASDHKLJASDHJKLASDHLJKASDHK JLASDHJLSADHJASLDHASLJKDHASLJD HJSADHLASKJDHJALSKDHL
URGE 2 KILLÿ RISING "
"....i now want toÿ commit suicied.... "
Are we not allowed to be real parents anymore? We may have feared the CyborFreaks, but we damn well respected them and learned about boundaries.
A thousand years ago, dudes were dying from splinters, but now the wizard potion that cleans our light wounds costs less than a Dr. Pepper in 1994. I love this medicinal 7up.
Ron Paul spins in his chair, trying to grab his decorative antique musket but Freddy gets it first.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!