Submitted by Anonymous
If I was king of the universe, I would make people age directly from 7 years old to 25 years old. Coincidentally, there would also be 100% less bullshit like this if I were king of the universe.
Also, I would have a pony.
A magical pony.
What was that "dope?"
3 drugs in 1!
Cannabis (or Marijuana to you Kool-Aid drinkers), is actually a plant that's been on Earth for thousands of years. Completelyÿ harmless.
Cocaine (Crack, opium) is pretty much shit. Don't do it often.
And fucking LSD! DO IT FAGGOT! "
"AHAISHGSjasdkKSDKKJADJDHAKJDGA DGJADGAHDLKASKL;JDKLJADHJLKASD HJLKASDHKLJASDHJKLASDHLJKASDHK JLASDHJLSADHJASLDHASLJKDHASLJD HJSADHLASKJDHJALSKDHL
URGE 2 KILLÿ RISING "
"....i now want toÿ commit suicied.... "
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!