Submitted by Aaron
I bet you assholes think this job is easy. "Oh, all he does is write a bunch of unfunny jokes about Youtube videos that people send him!" Lemme tell ya something, bucko: it's harder than it looks. There are deadlines to meet, video after revolting video to sort through and to make matters even worse, I have to do all of this on a paltry 100k/year plus benefits salary.
Still, there are times that make it all worthwhile; times like my first viewing of "Banana Starship"; times when a single tear rolls down my cheek and I catch myself thinking "God bless America".
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Today's viral teen news beat, brought to you by Mike from the Internet!
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Doing some reps on the water bottle huh. I prefer bench press myself. Just kidding - stay hydrated.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!