Submitted by Aaron
I bet you assholes think this job is easy. "Oh, all he does is write a bunch of unfunny jokes about Youtube videos that people send him!" Lemme tell ya something, bucko: it's harder than it looks. There are deadlines to meet, video after revolting video to sort through and to make matters even worse, I have to do all of this on a paltry 100k/year plus benefits salary.
Still, there are times that make it all worthwhile; times like my first viewing of "Banana Starship"; times when a single tear rolls down my cheek and I catch myself thinking "God bless America".
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!