Submitted by Aaron
I bet you assholes think this job is easy. "Oh, all he does is write a bunch of unfunny jokes about Youtube videos that people send him!" Lemme tell ya something, bucko: it's harder than it looks. There are deadlines to meet, video after revolting video to sort through and to make matters even worse, I have to do all of this on a paltry 100k/year plus benefits salary.
Still, there are times that make it all worthwhile; times like my first viewing of "Banana Starship"; times when a single tear rolls down my cheek and I catch myself thinking "God bless America".
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
There is a witch hunt going on right now and I promise you that you will not find any witches in the pleasure room in my congressional office.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
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As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!