Submitted by Paul Rice
Hail and well met, friend! My scouts report that you have just uploaded a 5 minute+ video dedicated to the origin of your YouTube name and to "powning" some hapless ne'er-do-well. As the king of Whogivesafuckistan, I welcome you to our fair country and hope your terrible, wordy, nerd slapfight video has a long and happy stay here. Enjoy your complimentary 3 titties and a boob and smallest margarine and feel free to eat shit and die at your earliest convenience!
"ur awesome dude.. esperfuck is gay, i hope he gets run over by a train. or his ass shot in the corner of a dark alley..
-XBOX360 RULES "
"What a nerd."
"stop being defensive the other dude is killing you because you are way to serious and what the fuck is this greek god shit youre not greek "
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
As you may have noticed, the most popular viral videos at any given time are amazingly banal, annoying, and cliched pieces of waste. It almost seems as if the internet naturally gravitates towards the worst possible Youtube and Google video selections. So it stands to reason that if the terrible videos become popular, then the unpopular videos must be awesome! We here at Something Awful present to you AwfulVision™, our own patented service dedicated to showcasing a wide selection of unpopular videos that apparently must be good! Welcome to Web 3.9. Welcome to AwfulVision™!