"The mixture had a thick, cummy texture" -a girl at my table wrote this in her lab notebook in eleventh grade Chem II.
Goddammit I hate my high school.
In a senior level Health class, we were going over basic reproductive systems again, and the teacher was using one of those sideways drawn 'x-ray' posters of a female to point stuff out. A girl next to me suddenly asks, "So why can't you get pregnant from anal sex?" This girl had a child nearing two or three. The teacher just looked defeated.
"What was Hitler's last name?"
"I thought your lungs were in your throat?"
"If you spill soda on a keyboard the sugar from it will travel through the cord into the computer and ruin it."
In one of my Finance classes, the day after an exam, one of the girls in my class complained that: "Does the multiple choice have to be worth so much? It makes the exam really hard."
Girl at my high school while debating the decision to drop the atom bomb:
"We had to drop the atom bomb because the Japanese had a Heat Ray!"
it's hard to shake the feeling that I've always got five stars in this Grand Theft Auto known as life.
Now, inexplicably, season three is looming over us like some sort of dome. Season one's plot asked whether or not the town could get out from under the dome. Apparently the answer was "no". Season two asked "I guess we're really stuck, huh?" and the answer was "yup".
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.