"The mixture had a thick, cummy texture" -a girl at my table wrote this in her lab notebook in eleventh grade Chem II.
Goddammit I hate my high school.
In a senior level Health class, we were going over basic reproductive systems again, and the teacher was using one of those sideways drawn 'x-ray' posters of a female to point stuff out. A girl next to me suddenly asks, "So why can't you get pregnant from anal sex?" This girl had a child nearing two or three. The teacher just looked defeated.
"What was Hitler's last name?"
"I thought your lungs were in your throat?"
"If you spill soda on a keyboard the sugar from it will travel through the cord into the computer and ruin it."
In one of my Finance classes, the day after an exam, one of the girls in my class complained that: "Does the multiple choice have to be worth so much? It makes the exam really hard."
Girl at my high school while debating the decision to drop the atom bomb:
"We had to drop the atom bomb because the Japanese had a Heat Ray!"
Did Louis C.K. jerk off in front of two female comics? And why are these ladies squandering an opportunity to learn from a comedy legend?
Elliot said my breakup must have been due to the sweater curse, an unexplained phenomenon where anyone who gives their significant other a hand-knit sweater gets dumped. The only way to break the curse, Elliot said, was to destroy the sweater.
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