Swiper’s Greatest Swipe, inspired by Dora the Explorer, written by Lunarian.Dora woke up that morning, feeling quite refreshed. Her mother had baked the best cake she had ever eaten for her birthday yesterday, and with it came a great birthday party. All her friends came, making her feel really special. She was glad there were so many people in her life that really cared about her. “That’s what I like best about birthdays” Dora said to herself, “you get to count all the friends you’ve made. I’ve made a lot of friends.”There was also one other thing last night that made it really special; the present Dora’s mother gave to her in secret. It was a new pair of pink satin panties. Dora recalled back to last night, as the last guest left for home. Her mother called her into the bedroom, and closed the door as her mother instructed her to. There Dora was handed and small box with a hot pink bow. Excited, but careful, Dora unwrapped the package. Greeting her was a shiny pair of panties. “I think you’re big enough to wear these now” Dora’s mother explained happily. Dora’s smile nearly split her face in half. She gave her mother the biggest hug she’d ever given, then ran into the bathroom to try them on. Up till now, Dora had only worn generic children’s underwear. Now, finally, Dora had underwear that meant she was grown up. These were better than big-kids underwear; these were women’s underwear. These were panties!Dora’s mind came back to her, as she lied on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She hugged the blankets closer to her. Underneath her covers, all she was wearing was her new panties. They were unusually comfortable. They conformed perfectly to her body; yet loose enough to allow her special areas to breath. However, she did notice they started tickling her crotch a little bit. Her slightest movement caused the panties to rub her in such a way that felt wonderful. Dora had never felt anything like it before. She began to squirm from the pleasure, but that only made the panties rub more.Slowly, Dora’s hand slid under the covers, and rested on her crotch. Rubbing the panties against her harder and faster, the sensation grew more and more. She began to moan unconsciously, catching herself only to keep her voice down, so her mom wouldn’t hear her. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but it felt so good, she couldn’t stop. It was if something was controlling her, forcing her to rub harder and harder. She couldn’t take it anymore. Reluctantly removing her hand from her now wet panties, she discarded her only article of clothing and tossed them aside, and lay back down to continue what she started.Dora put her hand where it was before, and began to play with her lips. Gently pushing them around, spreading them out, and running her fingers between them. She was in heaven. Her fingers were drenched in her juice, and only got wetter as she finally went inside. Dora bit her lip as she explored herself more. It wasn’t long before she felt a discharge flow past her hand. As Dora lay there, exhausted and sweaty, she made a mental note to do that more often.Dora got dressed, and heard her mom calling for breakfast. She ran downstairs and ate in a rush. Her and Boots had lots of exploring to do today, and didn’t want to waste any time. After eating, Dora grabbed her backpack and ran to the big tree in her front yard, where Boots was already waiting. They held hands as they traveled down the road in search of adventure.All afternoon they explored. The cave, the ocean, the desert, nothing stood in the way of Dora and Boots. Hours and hours were spent playing and learning, but someone didn’t feel satisfied. Someone was watching the two friends, and wanted to release his pent-up frustrations. His furry tail swished behind him excitedly.Dora took her eyes off Boots for only a second, but that was all that was needed. She turned around to make a comment to her friend, and found him tied to a tree, his mouth gagged. Next to Boots, was the stalker who had been watching them all afternoon. Dora lost her breath as she said his name, “Swiper!”An evil grin formed on the fox’s face as he approached his helpless victim. Dora took a step back. There was something different about Swiper today. “W-what do you want, Swiper?” Dora timidly asked. “I saw you this morning” Swiper replied, creating a stunned expression on Dora’s face.“I was watching you through your window. I watched as you stripped for me and began to get off.” Swiper explained. Blood rushed to Dora’s face as she listened to Swiper describing what he calls her “perfect body.” Dora’s backpack was ripped from her shoulders and tossed aside. “I knew I had to make you mine today,” Swiper continued. He then pushed Dora to the ground, and pounced on her, and slowly removed her clothing. Finally, Swiper caught a glimpse of pink, and found Dora’s panties, the same ones she wore that morning. This only fueled his primal needs.At last, Dora was completely unclothed, and was being massaged and molested by her foxy friend. Swiper lay on top of her, and began to whisper in her ear, “I’m going to swipe something that you won’t be able to get back.” Swiper opened Dora’s legs, exposing her pink virgin pussy. He would hold back no longer. Swiper entered Dora with his nine-inch cock. Dora gasped as her virginity left her with every thrust of the handsome young fox’s dick. She begged and pleaded to him, but it was all in vain. Dora’s tears flowed freely, exciting Swiper even further. He leaned down to her face and licked her tears off, savoring the taste.Dora realized there was no point in resisting. She wrapped her legs around Swiper’s waist, and allowed him to have his way with her. As she lay there, focusing on the feeling of such a long shaft sliding in and out of her, Dora did admit to herself that if felt pretty good. Swiper shot his load into the young slut, and withdrew from her. He stood over Dora as she lay on the ground, as sweating and tired as she was earlier that day. Once he felt satisfied with his work, Swiper left.Dora put her clothes back on, untied Boots, and made him promise not to speak to anyone of the incident. They went their separate ways, and by the time Dora was back home, it was already time for bed. She ran into her bedroom, closed the blinds, and crawled into bed. She lay down, replaying the event over in her mind. “Is this going to be a regular occurrence now?” Dora asked herself. Minutes passed, and no answer was heard. Dora smiled to herself, rolling to her side. Just before she fell asleep, she muttered, “I hope so.”
If you are 35 and you are not integrated into the Gigathrax then you are not ready to retire.
While designing this space, I imagined David Fincher being forced to recreate the music video for Nine Inch Nails' Closer in a haunted gas station bathroom.
My game is funded. Now I know everything.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.