Call Me Abey
No Such Thing
Thanks to JeffreyAtW and all the SA Goons who actually posted these jokes on their pages; and even to the Goons who posted a screenshot of the preview screen because they were squeamish about alienating friends and family; and especially to any Goons who had to use Photoshop to craft fictional FB personas to make their fake posts because they "don't do the whole social-media thing."
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.