One time I went to make nachos and found I had no taco cheese or shredded cheese of any kind and only one slice of American cheese. It was a pretty sad looking plate of nachos.
It looks like somebody tried to band-aid a broken vase back together.
American cheese slices by themselves. One by one, each unwrapped and eaten individually.
A single McDonald's hamburger inside a double McDonald's hamburger.
It sounds awesome, but then you wonder what you must be doing wrong with your life that made you get excited about combining burgers.
I have an aunt who walks to McDonald's every Monday and buys about 10 39 cent hamburgers and eats/freezes them until Thursday when she goes back and buys 49 cent cheeseburgers. That's all she eats for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Nice old man ordering just a small decaf black coffee, or worse, one plain vanilla ice cream cone from McDonald's, then sitting at a table by himself.
God dammit, you just made me cry, and it's been ten years since I worked at McDonald's. They pay with exact change, too. I used to wait until they went away from the register, and then I'd go cry in the break room for a minute.
I almost always worked mornings, and we had an elderly guy called Tony who would come in and get a senior-discount coffee every day, and read a paper he brought in with him. He's probably dead now or in a nursing home, and all the generations of punk-ass high school kids who flow through that place don't even know that he's gone.
He had a yellow inflatable tube around his waist, the kind with a comical duck head. There was a tiny fish in one of his hands, and a trident in the other. In the background a squirrel wearing shades was water skiing.
Republicans announce that all legislation must be voted on at 2am in a secret chamber, with no one but the lobbyists who write the bills seeing a single line of text. Democrats' Response: Stumbling around a field stepping on rakes, handles smashing them directly in their faces every single time.
For fans of meaningless awards, these awards are extra meaningless.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.