Caution comes first with the SA Forum Goons, whether it's demonstrating the proper technique for using PlayStation Move controllers or indicating just what should be inserted furiously into where. Joshua "Thunderbeard" Pugh found this site, which offers warning-sign templates for almost every conceivable situation. Except, perhaps, "The 'warning signs' part of this update will be delayed slightly in order to present the grim tale of an anthropomorphic pickle." But Thunderbeard did that one himself, so now it's safe to say everything's covered!
So, SA Forums member Part of Everything made this cute little pickle sculpture -- just look at it, with the miniature hat and the tiny briefcase and everything -- and she invited her fellow Goons to flesh out a typical day in his working life (as a newspaper editor). She might have expected many things: Pickle puns, unbridled creative expression, trenchant commentary regarding the worrying state of print journalism as a career in 2010. What she got was this:
As you might have noticed, I didn't link any of those images, because -- what the fuck is wrong with you people? But one man endeavored to transcend this theme's scatological wallowings, to inject emotion into this pickle's plight, to liberate Workin' Gherkin from the bathroom, if not, sadly, delivering him to the newsroom. And that man, recognized just last week for his salvation of the inert "rainbow-farting puppies and glitter unicorns" thread, was Discount_Bees.
Workin' Gherkin is such a good father and husband, he'll do whatever it takes.
'Fuck that, if anything is going to destroy this family, it'll be my constant whore-mongering and debauchery, not some goddamned kidnappers.
It's go time.'
It was a long walk to the meatpacking district. Longer if you include the stop at the strip club on the way.
Simply put, if I had Johnny Manziel’s physical gifts, you better believe I would be there in the Weight Room, getting to bed early, doing whatever I had to do to be the best possible athlete I could be. I wouldn't be posting on social media about sucking titties. I wouldn't even look at a titty, buddy. I'd look at a titty and see two big footballs.
A real friend doesn't move until the middle of August, ensuring temperatures in the 90s and a humidity that turns boxers into moist balls of ruined cotton.
Expendable? You must be joking.
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.