Starman.com (thanks Chinese Tony Danza!)

The first thing that greets you upon visiting Starman.com is a background image that consists of nebulous space testicles, tiled over and over again. This is, unfortunately, the most professional element of this entire website, which serves as the resume & misplaced pride of George Staropoli. If it was just another Geocities-esque, made in 1997, Best Viewed With Netscape! 2.0 type of ALOD, it probably wouldn't be worth your time. However, old George has been hard at work updating his personal site, making sure it remains as exciting as it was in 1995. What's the Starman's secret?


Teens, test drive your future --
one of a number of possible futures
An exciting, educational game simulating growing up in America !
From what I understand, the game is about using the Force to blow up invading UFOs while not becoming addicted to drugs or HIV. I would try to install it, but unfortunately I lack a working copy of Windows 3.1, so America will continue to remain a mystery. It's probably for the best.
This Week on Something Awful...
-
The Top Ten Albums of 2009...
Garbage Day
...in the soon-to-be-published opinions of other critics, most of whom are wrong.
-
Improper Ganda!
Photoshop Phriday
Propaganda! Don't believe what you see, don't believe what you read.
-
LEVI SAYS RELAX
Johnston Checks In
Levi Johnston responds to more of Sarah Palin's attacks as his alter ego, Ricky Hollywood.
-
Burrito!! Doritos!! Fiesta!! Antipasto!!
AwfulVision
This week: a video so bad, not even Glenn Danzig can save it. Abandon all hope, ye who enter.

Something Awful has been mocking itself and the internet since 1999, bringing you reviews of the worst movies, video games, and websites to ever exist. If it's something and it's awful, it's probably on Something Awful, where the internet makes you stupid.