At My Life Is Twilight, vampire-romance fanatics confess their eccentricities, and viewers use these anecdotes to judge whether the person's life is "TOO Twilight," or if she -- it's almost certainly a she -- "needs to up the Twilight." The obvious solution would be to deem that anyone who visits a Twilight-themed site to discuss how Twilight has affected her life has an unhealthy obsession with undead sparkle-hunks, and conversely that there is no reason for anyone, anywhere to "up the Twilight." But I suppose everyone is entitled to a jury of their peers, even if their peers are fat middle-age women who bond over their unsettling fixation on the abdominal definition of a 17-year-old boy.

- Andrew "Garbage Day" Miller (@DarbageGay)