At My Life Is Twilight, vampire-romance fanatics confess their eccentricities, and viewers use these anecdotes to judge whether the person's life is "TOO Twilight," or if she -- it's almost certainly a she -- "needs to up the Twilight." The obvious solution would be to deem that anyone who visits a Twilight-themed site to discuss how Twilight has affected her life has an unhealthy obsession with undead sparkle-hunks, and conversely that there is no reason for anyone, anywhere to "up the Twilight." But I suppose everyone is entitled to a jury of their peers, even if their peers are fat middle-age women who bond over their unsettling fixation on the abdominal definition of a 17-year-old boy.
The treacherous New England Patriots are guilty of deflating their footballs. We must punish them severely in the name of holy retribution. This transgression has been the biggest headline in the United States for an entire week, and it should be the primary concern of all nations.
We have used extensive market research to determine the average consumers of America's favorite rolls of caramel-oozing choco cysts.
Awful Links of the Day spotlights the worst and weirdest websites on the internet. And we're not talking "weird" in a good way either.