Daily SWAT: "Hardcore Piggy"

Zack: Today's dog bears a distinct resemblance to Alice Cooper being vomited out of a pig's mouth.

Dr. Thorpe: Yeah, there's something really violent and disturbing about this, like the dog has flayed a pig and is wearing its skin, and he's looking us like "you're next, queer."

Dr. Thorpe: And I say "queer" because there's also an element of sexual menace in this, but maybe that's just me projecting.

Zack: You could be right. That dog could have brutally flayed the skin from that doll-eyed pig. The alternative is even more terrifying. What if the pig is completely unconcerned with the dog's head projecting out of its mouth?

Zack: Maybe the dog head is just part of how the pig does business. Maybe the pig is some terrible dog symbiote like those tongue-eating crustaceans that end up in fish mouths or maybe it's part of the pig like those inner jaws in Aliens.

Dr. Thorpe: I don't know, the dog's crooked leer makes me think he's the aggressor in this situation, and the pig is just another victim.

Dr. Thorpe: "Pig was lookin' at me funny so I jumped through its asshole."

Zack: The pig was apparently slithering around too. The Korean costume makers just decided cows have six legs and pigs have none.

Zack: "Pig come up out of ground like worm. Big worm! Oink, oink! No teeth, big asshole!"

Dr. Thorpe: My perfect woman.

Zack: Lair of the Pig Worm.

Dr. Thorpe: Have you picked up Max Hardcore's Oink Oink No Teeth Big Asshole BBW Gapefest #44 yet?

Zack: I have #43 but it was too disgusting for me. Some of those women looked over 20.

Dr. Thorpe: Which, by porn standards, makes them MILFs. Milves?

Zack: It follows the dwarf standard. "Dwarfs in real life and dwarves in Tolkein."

Zack: In this case we're definitely talking Tolkein standards, making "Milves" the appropriate plural.

Dr. Thorpe: You know he came up with a whole Milven language?

Zack: Max Hardcore, you mean? It's based on those froggy gagging and puking sounds women make when he's around.