Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Monster Manual II (part 1)
D&D's convoluted cosmology was originally discussed in our review of Deities & Demigods. One of the planes of existence within this elaborate multidimensional universe is "Nirvana." Banish images of Heart Shaped Boxes or Buddhist temples. The D&D Monster Manual II hypothesizes a Nirvana populated by a race of ultra-orderly geometric beings known as Modrons. Some of them are spheres with eyes, some are five-faced fire-shooting stalk-walkers, and from there it gets a little weird.
Steve: Are we really going to do this?
Zack: I think we need to discuss Modrons. Nobody ever gives these things the time of day and Monster Manual II devotes several pages to them.
Steve: There's so many of them!
Zack: We don't have to cover every one. And we'll go quickly.
Steve: And I don't have to defend them?
Zack: Do whatever you want, Steve. You defended the dinosaurs.
Steve: Those aren't Modrons.
Zack: No demand for Modrons?
Steve: Let me put it this way. Homer Simpson did the voice for one in that Planescape video game. Remember that?
Zack: Planescape: Torment. Great game.
Steve: Yeah it was alright, I preferred Hillsfar myself.
Zack: No way! Hillsfar wasn't even a game, it was like the interrogation portion of a SERE course in a box. Only with less teleport traps.
Steve: Just kidding.
Zack: You had me going there.
Steve: Eye of the Beholder series was better though, at least one and two. Anyway, Homer Simpson voice guy does a Modron voice in the game and yet still there were no DMs using modrons. We're talking about a hobby where Wizards modeled the new edition of books after online video games. Nobody knew what the heck to do with modrons.
Zack: D'oh!
Steve: Exactly dude. D'oh indeed.
