Henchman Status Updates: Astro Panic

Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.

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• Against All Odds, Russo's not involved (TNA PPV 2/12/12)
• My girlfriend is physically abusive towards me and wants to kill herself.
• Cold-weather tyres in the dry?
• Script
• How far will you go to get the perfect picture?
• Ask Me About Chronic Pain (Again)