Time to Go Back (In Time)
At a Glance: Many respectable scientists consider the concept of time travel to be workably beyond manís capabilities, while other, slightly less respectable scientists claim that it may be within our grasp very soon. Ignoring all logic and science are the many books about time travel, particularly those that involve altering events in the past to affect events in the future. No matter what, they include logic holes that you could drive a cruise ship through, pseudo-science that reads like instructions on assembling a computer from scrap iron, and as always a dashing hero. Another aspect of the genre is that the villain is almost always someone heavily involved in developing the time travel technology. Once they have realized its capabilities they seek to use the technology for their own benefit, but usually fuck up and accidentally step on a bug 50 million years ago that ends up turning Hitler into a giant dragon.
Literary Hack Sub-Genre: Illogical Time Travel
Chapter One - Timely Arrival
Daring Armstrong is the bravest and most handsome Chrononaut.
"The air is breathable," he glanced at a glowing sensor screen. "No trace of time radiation."
"Really, Professor Smart," said the man whose uniform had the name "Sinisterest" stitched onto it, "if my calculations about time radiation were correct, these suits would do little to protect us. Our cells would be transported in hundreds of directions along the space time continuum and not a single one would remain here."
Ignoring him, the third man removed his helmet entirely, revealing close-cropped blonde hair and a strong dimpled jaw. He had piercing blue eyes that were almost as blue as the sky above or the ocean but they weren't near the ocean. He clipped his helmet to his belt and examined a small instrument used to detect time.
"The Time Chronometer says that we have arrived exactly as planned," his uniform bore the name "Armstrong" and had an additional United States Flag patch sewn onto the arm that none of the others had.
Helen Attractive is not quite as brave as Daring Armstrong, but she is somewhat brave, and she is extremely beautiful as you can see from this illustration. Yowsah!
"Gentlemen," she said matter-of-factly, "we had better hurry, it is only four hours until the constitution is signed, and even in the stealth buggy it will take nearly an hour to make it to Washington."
Professor Smart handed out the travel packs containing a little bit of money, a machine pistol, and disguises that would allow them to blend in with the times. They each took turns changing into their disguises in the time pod while the rest assembled the stealth buggy. Once it was put together and they were all ready, they set off for Washington where they would record the signing of the Constitution on video tape.