Vampire Realm of Darkness
Not cool man. Cat's don't have the ability to agree with your idiotic requests, therefore you have broken the code of the honorable vampire.
Incoming parent of the year!
Generations from now, we will be known as full of shit.
It's quite simple really. The only way he can cope with cutting himself to let his friend suck his blood, and thus encourage him in his retarded fantasy, is to get shitfaced drunk beforehand.