Not cool man. Cat's don't have the ability to agree with your idiotic requests, therefore you have broken the code of the honorable vampire.
Incoming parent of the year!
Generations from now, we will be known as full of shit.
It's quite simple really. The only way he can cope with cutting himself to let his friend suck his blood, and thus encourage him in his retarded fantasy, is to get shitfaced drunk beforehand.
The most advanced and up-to-date method of checking the temperature from cricket noises.
Pope Francis, the best Pope, has a number of upcoming encyclicals to change the way Catholics view the world.
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