Zack: Two robots like the kind from the beginning have captured Spuds McKenzie. Some sort of force field is keeping him asleep. There is a cooler full of Coors and cooler full of Budweiser in the room.
Steve: A logic puzzle! Well, barbarians aren't very good at logic, so I am going to try to smash the force field with my axe.
Zack: Your axe just bounces off.
Steve: Okay, plan B. I am gonna chug a Budweiser and try to think of plan C.
Zack: As you drink the Budweiser your blood is suffused with the animal spirit. You fall to the ground as you begin to undergo a painful transformation.
Steve: Ahhhh what's happening!?
Zack: Your chest splits open and your skin turns into floral colors. Your legs sprout khaki shorts and your feet grow sandals. The world grows darker. You are now peering through cool shades. You have contracted party animal lycanthropy.
Zack: Disgusted by your breech of decorum, the robots grab you and Spuds McKenzie and throw you out of the spaceship and back into the valley!
Zack: The End!
Steve: Wait, what!?
The singer dove off the stage and crowd surfed in a sort of reverse funeral procession where the person being carried is the only one truly alive. Touching him I felt religious ecstasy and started speaking in tongues and requesting songs that didn't exist.
There's no easy way to put this, so I'll tell it like it is. Bouillon is died. He went missing before the weekend and yesterday I found his skeletonized remains at the bottom of the #3 soup vat during one of my swims. I thought the cream of mushroom soup had an especially nourishing taste, and a lot more clumps of fur and skin than usual.
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Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.