Zack: "I'mmmm not so sure about the new guy. He looks...foreign."
Steve: "I dunno, Wolfbeam, it seems like he might be okay once we get past the fact that his head is a hand grenade."
Zack: Meanwhile, in Steve's dreams...
Steve: Last night was the recurring dream where I try to stop the Indians from going extinct, but the last Indian dies because he can't see the sky in the white man's cities and he doesn't know how to use a telephone.
Zack: If you can lucid dream try giving him a medical alert bracelet.
Steve: He keeps asking for bananas.
Zack: We did it!
Steve: Was that it? I didn't hear the buzzer.
Zack: It hits a frequency only audible to a certain pan-dimensional, pan-sexual blue dog.Steve: Do you mean me?
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.