Zack: We might be edging into the 70's on this one. When was the last time people wore fluted vests and pauldrons?
Steve: What time is it right now?
Zack: This game looks more fun than Mech Assault 2, which is a good thing, because that was a pretty fun game.
Zack: For a bitch idiot to play.
Steve: They're not playing a game, bro. This is deadly serious. This is the situation room of the future.
Zack: That would make the guy with the beard Hillary Clinton and I think the woman talking into her giant headset and seemingly holding a pancake house's syrup carafe is Joe Biden.
Steve: Dumping syrup on a Locust sounds like something he'd do.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.