Zack: Yes, welcome to the great minds of TSR UK, where they take a formidable monster like a gorilla and make it less capable by removing its opposable thumbs.
Steve: They gave it claws and a bear hug, which is better.
Zack: Counterpoint: a regular gorilla can tear out all your bones and punch your meat through a tree trunk.
Steve: More creatures need the description of "hugs for X damage."
Zack: You would think our noir friend Hook Horror would have been a prime candidate for some damaging hugs.
Steve: Hook Horror has got enough problems trying to open that jar. The last thing he needs is for somebody to steal his tender hugs from him.
Zack: Yeah, like TSR UK did to this poor, unsuspecting gorilla when they replaced its thumbs and fingers with a giant clawed flipper. Now how is Koko the Gorilla Bear going to tell us she love kitten?Steve: Here's a hint: it inflicts 2-12 damage.
If you get these jokes, you KNOW you're smart!
"For all my education, accomplishments, and so-called wisdom, I can't fathom my own datajack."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.