Zack: Frank didn't even need an attractive, nubile woman to make his point about the ball-crushing adventure and drama of fantasy.
Steve: That's a sweet picture, but it seems like kind of an unfair fight. I mean, giant pythons kill stuff like babies and small dogs. Do you really need to charge it on a horse and lay waste with a huge axe?
Zack: Of all people, Steve, I would have figured you would get it. The point isn't do you "need to" charge a big snake on your horse and wield an axe, the point is, why wouldn't you? You're a fantastic barbarian with glowing red eyes and a bloody axe. What possible motivation could you have for not charging around lopping the heads off reptiles?
Steve: I might be able to leave the room and think of some, but staring at that picture I have to admit you're right. If you have the tools, use them.
This is very real. As an insider I possess damning evidence that could utterly destroy Something Awful. This website has many enemies who appear to be coming to power in the United States. They probably have lots of money at their disposal, and I could really use some.
Don't let the winter dryness destroy your sinuses.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.