Zack: Frank didn't even need an attractive, nubile woman to make his point about the ball-crushing adventure and drama of fantasy.
Steve: That's a sweet picture, but it seems like kind of an unfair fight. I mean, giant pythons kill stuff like babies and small dogs. Do you really need to charge it on a horse and lay waste with a huge axe?
Zack: Of all people, Steve, I would have figured you would get it. The point isn't do you "need to" charge a big snake on your horse and wield an axe, the point is, why wouldn't you? You're a fantastic barbarian with glowing red eyes and a bloody axe. What possible motivation could you have for not charging around lopping the heads off reptiles?
Steve: I might be able to leave the room and think of some, but staring at that picture I have to admit you're right. If you have the tools, use them.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.