Zack: While you are using your enormous sword to scrape blood from your master there is a loud bang.
Steve: "Oh meow no!" I had better investigate this noise.
Zack: A large part of your survival bunker is filled with smoke. You failed to clean the ventilation shaft C14 in a timely manner and it has exploded into the bunker, covering everything with dust even as smoke continues to churn from the ruptured duct.
Steve: Is there a way to put out the fire?
Zack: The bunker has a fire suppression system, but it is toxic so you will need to get a gas mask from the storage closet.
Steve: Alright I do that then and active the fire suppression system.
Zack: The gas mask won't fit over your elf ears.
Steve: Blankets. I can smother the fire with blankets. Are there any blankets?
Zack: All of the bunk blankets are labeled "HIGHLY FLAMMABLE." There are some blankets in the master's bedroom. Do you want to go in there?
Steve: Alright, swinging my boobs all over and fake crying I will enter the master's bedroom to get his blankets.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
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