Zack: I think that woman with the sign just went ahead and stuffed the whole camel down the front of her pants.
Steve: Dude this game is really terrible. I mean, that wasn't even an adventure. What was that?
Zack: I tried to introduce a little realism. The adventures in this game are basically rolls on a random encounter chart. You could come up with great adventure seeds like this:
Steve: Dang it, I could have been a maid in space instead of some lousy bunker?
Zack: We can't choose the maid we are born to be.
Steve: So what's so bad about this game? Other than the weird flirty stuff it just seems like a lame anime RPG.
Zack: Yeah, I guess, but there is this one thing about the characters in the book...
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.