Steve: This guy should never have a problem finding a job.
Zack: "Uh, sorry, Doctor...Druid, was it? I am terribly sorry. The truth is, you are overqualified for this position. Bob Evans is only interested in hiring a druid, not a doctor."
Steve: "It says on your resume that you can levitate at a feeble rank. Could we see that before you go?"
Zack: "Of course, but I will need an air hockey table and about ten minutes to psych myself up."
Steve: He has incredible powers of illusion that unfortunately do not extend to male pattern baldness.Zack: "Bodily Control: Dr. Druid has remarkable control over his own body functions." Is this really a power?
Steve: It is when it's "remarkable control." He can drive all the way across the country without needing to pee.
Zack: He can totally keep his eyes open when he sneezes.
Steve: Just not while he's levitating.
Are you concerned that you may be a character trapped in a Tom Waits song? Be smart and learn the warning signs before it's too late. Also, it's too late. It has always been too late.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.