In the past we have covered some of the multi-volume series of Gamer's Handbooks for TSR's 1984 Marvel Super Heroes. These book are basically the Monster Manuals of the Marvel universe. In addition to the main series, TSR released updates with even more heroes and villains. This week we look back on the 1989 update and some of the weirdest super teams in the book.
Steve: Atom bombs to rage shreds. The Hulk really puts a pair of blue jeans through the paces.
Zack: Do you think there has ever been an incident in the real world where somebody was lifting weights or something and they became so pumped their clothes burst at the seams?
Steve: Isn't that why crazy pumped up dudes wear Gold's Gym tank tops and those baggy zebra stripe pants?
Zack: Hulk demand Zubaz.
Steve: If I were the Hulk I would try to get my pants and shirt off as I felt my rage coming on.
Zack: Hulk HATE tuxedo AAAAAUUGH WHY HULK WEAR CUMMERBUND???
Steve: So what are we doing here?
Zack: I had a look through this book before we started and I think we need to have a discussion of terrible super teams.
Steve: West Coast Avengers?
Zack: You wish. I'm talking teams where they came up with a concept and then made up a bunch of heroes to fill it out. Super teams that appeared in one comic or maybe one short series.
Steve: Really not the West Coast Avengers?
Zack: You're going to be wishing these teams had a fake Iron Man.
I'm haunted by a recurring vision of a skeleton flipping me off. To avoid seeing this terrifying image in bumper sticker form, I pay someone with a blank bumper to drive in front of me at all times.
Cons: causes bad nightmares. I used to have to eat beef until I passed out to have these kind of terrors, but this machine does it for me every time I fall asleep inside it.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.