Zack: We're all out of crazy super teams for this one, Steve, but I figured we would go out with the most inappropriately-dressed male super hero in the book.
Steve: I bet he gets uncomfortable looks at those super villain summits where they plot the downfall of their enemies.
Zack: Hey, Mandarin, I brought you a track suit. It has a cool dragon on the back and everything. Would you mind wearing that to the villainy conference instead of your shingles underwear.
Steve: That cape is really long so I bet like Mandarin is in line at the buffet and Sandman walks up on him thinking nothing is up and is like "Hey Mandarin you get some jalapeno poppers??" and Mandarin turns around and Sandman has to play it off like it's cool that he's staring at all of Mandarin's nude body basically even though suddenly he wants to puke out all those poppers he ate for lunch.
Zack: The villains have a buffet with jalapeno poppers?
Steve: Full pizza bar.
Zack: Dang. If they can get Mandarin to put on a pair of pants I might have to join up.
Steve: They have a doughnut bar for breakfast but Mandarin just stands around that wearing his pajamas which are like a cigar holder made out of fish scales and a dragon mini backpack.
Zack: See you next time, everybody! Don't forget about my book!
Steve: Ah, it looks scary dude!
TOTAL WRECK - crazy-eyed hound is covered in cobwebs, has a vespiary on back, graffiti on side and savage thirst for boat fuel. Frankly, I'm in over my head. He's in room 115 at Motel 6, yours free. 555-2851
Yes, it's the perfect form for surviving a car crash. But it's also the perfect form for so much more, like surviving the trauma of reading any news headline in 2016.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.