Zack: The original fat vampire, here to protest Scientology. For teh brain lulz ftw.
Steve: Call forth a flock of seagulls? What the hell kind of vampire is this?
Zack: Um, some vampires happen to appreciate real art. Are you familiar with anime?
Steve: Yes and also vampires and this dude does not seem like a vampire.
Zack: Weaknesses include alcohol (he prefers to stay in control of his faculties, thank you very much), girlfriends (ugh vapid much??), mirrors when naked, mom and dad's religious bullshit being rammed down his throat (deal with my atheism), and Scientology.
Steve: These guys must be multiplying.
Zack: I have lived for a thousand years and I plan to live my next thousand as a Na'vi from Pandora so I will expect you to take my fandom seriously and not persecute me.
Steve: If you have a blog you are a lousy vampire.
Zack: Words hurt, Steve. In fact, I am adding words to my weaknesses list.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.