Zack: The original fat vampire, here to protest Scientology. For teh brain lulz ftw.
Steve: Call forth a flock of seagulls? What the hell kind of vampire is this?
Zack: Um, some vampires happen to appreciate real art. Are you familiar with anime?
Steve: Yes and also vampires and this dude does not seem like a vampire.
Zack: Weaknesses include alcohol (he prefers to stay in control of his faculties, thank you very much), girlfriends (ugh vapid much??), mirrors when naked, mom and dad's religious bullshit being rammed down his throat (deal with my atheism), and Scientology.
Steve: These guys must be multiplying.
Zack: I have lived for a thousand years and I plan to live my next thousand as a Na'vi from Pandora so I will expect you to take my fandom seriously and not persecute me.
Steve: If you have a blog you are a lousy vampire.
Zack: Words hurt, Steve. In fact, I am adding words to my weaknesses list.
Maria Mitchell is shown holding a telescope to each eye, using them to ogle passing hunks on the street below. OOOGA! Her tongue rolls out like a firehose, her eyes comically bulging through the ends of the telescopes.
The Internet experience of 2014 has been condensed into a single article for your convenience.
Youtube user HolkHogan420 has been systematically exposing all of the Illuminati's plans.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.