Zack: Pictured here seconds before the combine drives over her.
Steve: Hey, why is there a nipple in my bread?
Zack: "Honey, you've been spending a lot of time out in the field late at night. What is going on out there?"
Steve: I mean, it would rule to have a naked grain babe in your field, but what happens to her when you finally harvest your crops? You're just setting yourself up for tragedy.
Zack: *fails save versus gluten* "Augh, my celiac!"
Steve: I wonder if it's just grain or if she could pop up in any crop.
Zack: I'm sure there is a farmer with a basement full of grow lights and sticky that sure could use some resiny ho rolling around naked.
Steve: Did you know, like, you can make 1800 different products from industrial hemp. They even have bricks made out hemp. So, like, uh, you can build a house and have a naked titty lady hanging out in your backyard, if, uh, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Zack: Nymph, Cocaine.
Zack: "Let's see how Little Miss Cocaine likes smuggling us up her butt."
Steve: I think I'd like to see Nymph, Melon.
Sometimes I dream that I'm sitting in the back of the defunct Weinermobile as it careens driverless down the highway. At first I thought this was symbolic of the powerlessness I feel in life, but then I realized it's actually the Weinermobile's dream of being able to drive again.
Three years ago, when we were burying my uncle, Cleaver and some gross lady dog (Solstice???) showed up at the cemetery and starting going at it really loudly. It ruined everything and we had to have a "re-do" the next day and it cost a fortune. I've hated him ever since for that.
Ignore the hype. Find out how these games will likely go right or wrong.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.