Zack: Pictured here seconds before the combine drives over her.
Steve: Hey, why is there a nipple in my bread?
Zack: "Honey, you've been spending a lot of time out in the field late at night. What is going on out there?"
Steve: I mean, it would rule to have a naked grain babe in your field, but what happens to her when you finally harvest your crops? You're just setting yourself up for tragedy.
Zack: *fails save versus gluten* "Augh, my celiac!"
Steve: I wonder if it's just grain or if she could pop up in any crop.
Zack: I'm sure there is a farmer with a basement full of grow lights and sticky that sure could use some resiny ho rolling around naked.
Steve: Did you know, like, you can make 1800 different products from industrial hemp. They even have bricks made out hemp. So, like, uh, you can build a house and have a naked titty lady hanging out in your backyard, if, uh, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Zack: Nymph, Cocaine.
Zack: "Let's see how Little Miss Cocaine likes smuggling us up her butt."
Steve: I think I'd like to see Nymph, Melon.
Your lair. Maybe you lure victims to it, maybe you hide in it between killings, or maybe you haunt it 24/7 because you’re tragically confined by a curse. Whatever the situation, for most of us monsters, a living/un-living space is an important part of our identities. In this column, Monstergeddon award winners share their lair tips and techniques!
Works great on my child, who hasn't barked at all for as long as she's worn the apparatus. When she turns three, we will remove it for a trial period.
The famed gonzo otaku journalist writes about the death of gaming culture in 2014.
Try not to break your console while I try not to break my cyber brain.
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.