Zack: Pictured here seconds before the combine drives over her.
Steve: Hey, why is there a nipple in my bread?
Zack: "Honey, you've been spending a lot of time out in the field late at night. What is going on out there?"
Steve: I mean, it would rule to have a naked grain babe in your field, but what happens to her when you finally harvest your crops? You're just setting yourself up for tragedy.
Zack: *fails save versus gluten* "Augh, my celiac!"
Steve: I wonder if it's just grain or if she could pop up in any crop.
Zack: I'm sure there is a farmer with a basement full of grow lights and sticky that sure could use some resiny ho rolling around naked.
Steve: Did you know, like, you can make 1800 different products from industrial hemp. They even have bricks made out hemp. So, like, uh, you can build a house and have a naked titty lady hanging out in your backyard, if, uh, I forgot what I was gonna say.
Zack: Nymph, Cocaine.
Zack: "Let's see how Little Miss Cocaine likes smuggling us up her butt."
Steve: I think I'd like to see Nymph, Melon.
If that boy isn't willing to shoot his laser and get you that carbon, he's not worth your time.
REFORMED HOG - Former member of the swine family, has now agreed to behave like a proper dog. Free to patient home willing to overlook physical defects. 555-2519
Available in Large, which is actually a Medium stretched out to appear bigger.
If you're in a tight spot, this is going to be really helpful (I'M JOKING. I'M KIDDING AROUND)
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.