Steve: Pursuing the most dangerous game: moisture.
Zack: When the prey feels like it is being followed and it suddenly turns around the hunting cactus is excellent at freezing in place and acting nonchalant.
Steve: Doesn't work so well indoors.
Zack: *cactus searches frantically for pot to hide in*
Steve: In some ways being followed around by a cactus is actually scarier than being chased by a regular monster.
Zack: I bet they would make great detectives in the Southwest.
Steve: Saguaro, P.I.
Zack: "Si, senor. We will learn if your wife is cheating. Also, if you could leave some large, empty pots scattered around your house it would really help."
Steve: "We'll also need someone to drive us and carry us everywhere because, btw, we are plants."
Zack: "Just set us on a skateboard and give us a push in the direction of clues."
Evil Cooper and Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov have both been on a rampage, but who did what?
"Your left eye," the optometrist casually explained while blasting my face with a blue laser at point blank range, "is farsighted and shaped like an eyeball. The other eye is nearsighted and shaped like a football. Not even a good football."
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.